Uncle D’s Dilemmas -a problem shared. . .

Dear Uncle D,

I’m a Black, 28 yr old male recently out of the closet. I’m looking for an educated, career driven, down to earth black man in London. Where should I look?


Dear Remy,

Now there’s a question! If I had an instant answer, I would patent it, sit back and watch my bank account balance grow with all the commission I could earn!!

In terms of your approach to this, there are no hard and fast rules. Assuming you are that educated, career driven and down to earth black guy you want to meet. Think about the places you like going to, or would like to go to. That guy can be found in many regular everyday environments. Get your ‘gaydar’ tuned in and you will learn to sniff him out.

If you are into sports, there are a number of gay sports teams around e.g. rugby and football. So check out your local (which may not be that local!) team. They can be quite white, but I have met a few interesting black guys who get involved with gay sports teams.

There are also club nights like Urban Scala, a predominantly black gay and bi environment, a very diverse set of people. This space is good for reaffirming there are many like you, many like us. But again in terms of what you are looking for you still need to have the ability to sniff it out. You may not find what you want immediately, but don’t let that put you off, it is all part of the journey, taking you closer to what you want.

The BlackOutUK collective is another option, we have a real interesting mix of black gay men, coming together to share stories and ideas etc. So there’s some food for thought. In the meantime I would just try to meet people and hang out.

If you are ready you will attract the right people for you, regardless of them becoming friends or lovers or maybe both. By this I mean, being the man you are looking for, controlling what you can control in terms of putting yourself in the right places and the guy you want will be there, sniffing for you in the same way you will be sniffing for him.

Happy hunting! Remember to stay safe xx

Uncle D

Do you have any advice for Remy? Add it in the comments below, I’m sure he’d appreciate your views

Do you have a dilemma that Uncle D could help with? Drop us a line blkoutuk@gmail.com

douglasr Uncle D