Dear Uncle D,
I’m falling for a hot guy a couple of years older than me. On our third date he let me know that he has two children – a 9 year old son and 12 year old daughter. They live with their mother but he sees them every weekend. Is this all too Jeremy Kyle? Should I walk away or what?
There is no simple answer to your question. There are so many variables. You have indicated that you are falling for this guy. Is this the same for him? If you are rocking each others world, I would say don’t lock yourself off from the experience because he has kids. I don’t know why he didn’t mention his kids on your first date, but that said he has told you now. Which is of course a good thing. Another good thing is that he sounds like a responsible father, and is playing an active role in his kids life. This could be an indicator that he will also be responsible in a relationship.
We can’t help who we fall in love with and kids or no kids what is important is for us to know who we are falling in love with and what it is that makes that person who they are. In this case your dudes kids are an important part of who he is. So if you can handle the fact he has kids and you realise his kids will/should always come first , then I would say go for it . Fall in love and enjoy. If on the other hand the kids will be a challenge for you, then walk now whilst it is still relatively straight forward to do so.
Do you have any advice for J? Add it in the comments below, I’m sure he’d appreciate your views
Do you have a dilemma that Uncle D could help with? Drop us a line firstname.lastname@example.org